Medical Terms – Redneck Definitions

Artery-The study of paintings

Bacteria-Back door to cafeteria

Barium-What doctors do when patients die

Benign-What you be, after you be eight

Cesarean Section-A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan-Searching for Kitty

Cauterize-Made eye contact with her

Colic-A sheep dog

Coma-A punctuation mark

Dilate-To live long

Enema-Not a friend

Fester-Quicker than someone else

Fibula-A small lie

Impotent-Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain-Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff-A Doctor’s cane

Morbid-A higher offer

Nitrates-Rates of Pay for Working at Night, normally more money than days

Node-I knew it

Outpatient-A person who has fainted

Pelvis-Second cousin to Elvis

Post-Operative-A letter carrier

Recovery Room-Place to do upholstery

Rectum-Nearly killed him

Secretion-Hiding something

Seizure-Roman Emperor

Tablet-A small table

Terminal Illness-Getting sick at the airport

Tumor-One plus one more

Urine-Opposite of you’re out

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