We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
I feel your pain….no one wants to run with me either.
What was your power again?
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?