Some Great Definitions

  • School – A place where parents pay and children play
  • Life Insurance – A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
  • Nurse – A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
  • Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
  • Divorce – Future tense of Marriage.
  • Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
  • Lecture – An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
  • Conference – The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  • Compromise – The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
  • Dictionary – A place where success comes before work
  • Conference Room – A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
  • Father – A banker provided by nature
  • Criminal – A person no different from the rest …except that he/she got caught
  • Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
  • Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
  • Doctor– A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
  • Classic – Books, which people praise, but do not read.
  • Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  • Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  • Etc. – A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  • Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  • Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.
  • Atom Bomb – An invention to end all inventions.
  • Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

And here’s one I love!

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